Are you someone who struggles with perfectionism or with an all-or-nothing mentality? And does that perfectionism spill over into diet or exercise changes, leading you to vacillate between rigid diets and perfectly followed workout plans, vs. eating whatever-the-heck-looks-good, calories-be-d@%ned, and cutting out exercise that day if you can't get a full 60 minute workout in?
If so, you’re not alone. High achievers often tend to be hard on themselves and struggle with perfectionism. Unfortunately, while this might lead to getting ahead in life, it can also lead to internal frustration, procrastination, and feeling like a “failure” if things don’t get done perfectly.
I know because I’ve been there! (Oldest daughter syndrome, if you want to blame it on that, but also just how I am wired).
One thing that helped me overcome perfectionism was purposely allowing things to be just a little bit messy or a little off.
Not the big things that really mattered, but little things: purposely letting a wisp of hair be out of place, purposely leaving a picture hanging slightly crooked on the wall for a couple days, purposely finishing about 90% of the dishes but leaving a couple stragglers in the sink overnight, or purposely spelling a word incorrectly in a text (gasp).
This strategy slowly allowed me to build my tolerance for discomfort and my tolerance for imperfection. And it PROVED to me that the world would not end if everything wasn’t in the right place with every loose end tied up.
That healthier mentality eventually seeped over to my exercise and nutrition, too. While I am overall extremely consistent with workouts and nutrition, nowadays I don’t freak out if I miss a workout, or decide to eat a donut here and there because I just feel like it.
I get right back to my regularly-scheduled healthier choices at the next meal, or the next day. I allow for slight “imperfections” in my choices, knowing that it will all work out, as long as I’m not lying to myself about how often “occasional” really means.
Now I have the confidence, based on years of practicing, to know that I will be able to get back on track right away, as long as my detours from optimal life choices are brief and occasional.
This gives me breathing room. It makes my life feel more joyful, a little bit more real and messy.
I’ll be honest, I probably always will enjoy feeling in control of my life (who doesn't love feeling like you've got everything under control?!).
But intentionally creating a little bit of wiggle room, here and there, to allow things to unfold imperfectly, is an important part of me feeling like I’m really living.
If you, too, struggle with being rigid about workouts or nutrition, or anything else... I see you. I get you. And if you WANT to change, it is completely possible to do so... without going completely off the rails. Maybe this strategy will help you, too, develop confidence in yourself and your ability to manage a little bit of chaos sometimes.
Cheering for you always~
Nicole